The other ‘M’ Word

I’ve had another couple of days on the rollercoaster with my mood. Another thing that, like Mental health, isn’t much talked about is Menopause. A lot of people know that periods stop and maybe you get a few hot flushes, but nobody prepares you for all the other stuff!!! I know for me it affects my depression, or maybe it’s the effects of the symptoms that makes me feel more depressed? I’m not really an expert, but at the present time it’s just horrible. Some of the lesser known things that happen are:-

• Memory problems

• Mood swings and anxiety

• Joint stiffness

• Weight gain / decrease in metabolic rate

• Vaginal dryness (making sex quite painful)

• Loss of libido

Well, for most people just one or two of these things are worrying, but for someone like me who already has issues with depression, anxiety and self-esteem, these things make it worse. Losing my libido is a real shock for me, but I wonder whether it’s caused by the other difficulties around the mechanics of having sex? Also the sexual issues affect relationship issues. The memory problems reduce confidence, and weight gain and joint stiffness affect the ability to exercise, which again affects the ability to raise mood.

And, just like mental health problems, because it’s not really talked about, it can be very isolating and frustrating. I feel as if I don’t have anyone to talk to about this problem, and I really miss my Mother right now. I remember her saying every woman should have an older woman in her circle of close friends, and now I realise why. But even then, because it seems to be such a taboo subject, many women either deny having problems, or simply refuse to talk about it.

For me, reaching this stage of life sometimes makes me question my value / worth as a woman. There is something fundamental about losing the effectiveness of your sexual and reproductive organs. The ‘changes’ in your body can somehow make you feel as if you are not ‘you’ – I certainly know I’m not the same Patsy I was a few years ago. Feeling out of control is always a scary thing for anyone, and when you are not in control of your body and what it is doing, or no longer doing it can literally rock your world, but not in a good way!

What, do I ask myself can I do about all this? Well, as always I’m getting it off my chest and talking about it, just like I do with the depression. I have joined groups on social media of other women going through the same season of life. I am going to see my doctor for any medical advice or help I can access, and to check out particular physical symptoms that have been troubling me. I’m also taking note of my mental health, recognising my thought patterns, challenging negative thinking and trying to take care of myself and continue to do things that I enjoy – like rehearsals for #Gaslight. At the same time I’m being real, and not just pretending everything is okay. I’m taking one day at a time, being kind to myself, taking time out for myself and not being pressured to do things I don’t want to do.

#woman #sex #menopause #depression #anxiety #barren