Another month, another week another day

Another month, another week another day.  I’m feeling quite weary, and life is a struggle right now to be honest.  I am not sure exactly what or who is keeping me going, for some days I do feel like giving up.  I am in pain, physically and emotionally, and it is difficult to keep on fighting the negative thoughts and feelings of hopelessness. 

Each hour, each day is a conscious choice to keep going, to keep challenging those thoughts and those voices in my head that keep telling me that things will always be this bad, that I will always feel so sad and afraid and that the future will always feel so lonely.  It’s an effort to make the choice to plan activities for the day, to talk about how I feel with the one or two people who I trust, to get out of bed, to get dressed and to swallow food.  Yet I know I must make the effort, and trust that in time the horrible feelings will pass, and my life will began to have meaning again. 

Each day, each hour, each minute that passes is another that I have won the fight.  Each activity, each WhatsApp message each conversation takes me closer to the possibility of a better, brighter future.